Here’s an interesting quote from Michael Dell, made during a financial conference call last week. “We want to get a larger share of the profit streams embedded in our growing installed base of the hundreds of millions of products we deliver,” he told analysts. Translation: Our products are crap, sales and profits are down. So we’re looking for a way to squeeze more money from the people who own our laptops, instead of coming up with new and interesting products to sell to a widening customer base. Dell was speaking about his plan to begin selling 3G cellular service to existing laptop users, basically eating the $400 price of the laptop in exchange for a 3-year service contract that could generate a couple of thousand dollars. It certainly follows a trend of portability and wireless to offer 3G service. But it’s a interesting concept to take the existing users and try to pry more revenue from them in order to offset poor sales.

I was not the one who started the recent round of rumors that Apple stores are blocking Facebook. From a corporate standpoint, it’s not true. Store managers have the discretion to take action to keep the store operating, however. On the other hand, someone pointed out that Facebook blocking should end about the time iLife ‘09 demonstrations begin, so that the store staff can show how iPhoto publishes photos directly to Facebook. The problem with linked apps is that…well, you need to be linked. I’m sure the stores can live with this one.

You can all relax–it’s not a recession, at least according to The Big Guy. Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer told a Mobile World Conference (Barcelona) press conference, “I have said before that what we are going through is more of a fundamental economic reset, as opposed to a recession.” As for how his company will weather the economy–whatever you call it? “We are really trying to figure out how to respond to the global economic downturn,” Ballmer said. Well, that’s enlightening. As for all the new developments in mobile, Ballmer was equaling interesting. “I think this is a super interesting time to talk about the mobile industry,” he said. Looks like the company is on-track.

Yes, it’s a complete coincidence that the North Michigan Avenue store is offering a presentation on accessibility on Feb. 22nd, just a week after the settlement of a lawsuit about…ah, accessibility at the San Francisco store. This class isn’t for store employees, but rather for OS X users who may have disabilities.

You must know that Palm introduced its Pre smartphone recently, and it was immediately put in the same class as the iPhone. Not surprising when you consider that former Apple hardware chief Jon Rubenstein joined Palm back in 2006. Don’t even compare the two devices themselves, but watch this video with Peter Skillman, Palm director of new product development, that demonstrates the entire Pre experience. It includes the unboxing, which is so Apple-like to be scary. Even the plastic inserts and other items in the box follow the iPhone presentation. Listen to Skillman’s other description of the phone, and see how much of it sounds like “Apple.” Well, they’re on the right track, but Palm has a l-o-n-g way to go to gain traction back to a leader in the handheld field.

Microsoft took a page from Apple’s playbook and created a concept retail store inside a Redmond (Wash.) warehouse. They also apparently ripped out the entire contents of Best Buy’s playbook, since the interior of the store bears every resemblance to every big-box retailer in America. The tall ceilings, walls, flooring, shelving, signage–well, everything!–is just like Best Buy. The only thing that Microsoft is really testing here is the retail technology, with customized displays (no doubt running Windows) to demo software. There’s none of Apple’s attention to detail. Literally every single aspect of an Apple store is pondered, considered, evaluated, revised and then executed immaculately. In contrast, Microsoft’s interior is simply a copy of bad design and bad retail. Take a look at these Microsoft-supplied photos, and see if you can see what’s unique [photo #1 / #2]. It’s not the product placement, the aisle end-caps, the flooring, the middle-of-the-store support beams, the product hangers, or that terrible, gray-painted, adjustable shelving. And if you want to read a good piece about Apple retail, check Robert Scoble’s piece.

The recent back-and-forth between Apple’s architects and two District of Columbia architectural groups over a proposed Georgetown retail store is pretty instructive, but it sure isn’t new. Apple wants glass, stainless steel or stone, while the Old Georgetown Board and Advisory Neighborhood Commission want something more similar to the surrounding buildings, which happen to be masonry, brick and topped by cornices. Apple has had these same discussions before in New York City, Portland, Los Gatos, San Luis Obispo and probably other cities that we haven’t heard about. It’s not clear what the starting strategy of the architectural firm Bohlin Cywinski Jackson (BCJ) is, or how they plan to react to each objection of local planning boards and commissions. But here’s what they’ve done before: start with the classic design of all-glass or stainless steel, and keep your fingers crossed. If the planning board requests specific changes, make revisions to something, but don’t lose the glass or steel. And then keep doing this until someone gives up. In some cases it’s been Apple who tossed in the towel, but in others the lure of having an Apple store was just too much for the city to turn away. Now the mayor’s office is involved in the DC process, so you can bet someone is going to send down word–we need the store, get this thing approved. Hopefully the final design lives up to the impressive designs that BCJ has drawn for other stores.

In the aftermath of Apple’s financials, there just had to be something negative to write about–right? By any measure, Apple set records, both for the entire company and the Retail segment. More sales, more computers, more visitors, more One to One sessions, and ultimately, more happy, creative people pounding away on their iPhones, Macs and iPods having a great life. So why did headlines begin popping up about a week later with “Apple’s’ Gloom at the Mall,” and “Apple Stores Still Busy, but Fewer Are Buying?” It all originated from various financial analysts, who began crunching Apple’s financial numbers hoping to come up with some insights. And they seemed to have skipped over “increase” and “record” completely when they discovered that, if you divide the results by the number of stores, all the numbers were actually a decrease per store. Now, I’m about as skeptical a person as they come. But I don’t care how you want to mathematically divide it, “up” is still “up” to me. In the midst of the worst financial crisis of the century, Apple Inc. reported improved sales and profits. Can we leave it at that, and tone down the headlines?

When the front glass door at the Leawood (Kan.) retail store was blown against the building and broke, a couple was hit by flying glass, as documented in a Gizmodo posting. What’s fascinating is that the son immediately e-mailed Steve Jobs and Ron Johnson about the incident, and that so many commenters to the post have a “something for free” attitude. It’s not clear exactly what response the college-age son expected–or intended–from either of the executives. I mean, would you e-mail Alan Mulally if a tree fell on your Ford? The son says his parents “took the high road” out of respect for the company, not saying exactly what they would have done had they taken the “low” road. The son then laments, “It’s just funny that all Apple did to rectify a retail door shattering on my parents was to make sure we weren’t suing,” but again doesn’t say exactly what remedy is socially or morally required in such a situation. Instead, he alludes to the remedy by observing, “It’s ironic that people who get horrible service and whine about it, walk out of stores with brand new macbook pros and whatever they cry for. Yet people like my family have taken the high road because we respect companies that give 1st class service to customers and deliver innovative products.” Somehow, he’s suggesting that those who take the high road are due the freebies, while those who whine are not. Not mentioned is the real criteria–those who are owed something by the company should receive it, those who aren’t should not. It’s all very confusing. Lastly, take a look at the comments to the Gizmodo posting for an authentic look into the mind of today’s retail buyers. Maybe it’s the economy, maybe it’s the little-person vs. big-company thing. Either way, “accident” and Mother Nature don’t cut any slack with this group. Makes you wonder if the recent burglars at The Gateway were just collecting what was rightfully theirs.

I’ll give you the short version: after nearly five years, my Power Mac dual 2GHz desktop suffered a glitch from which I could not recover. One visit to the Genius Bar seemed to isolate it to the hard drive, but turned into a second visit. Five days later (during which I limped along on a Mac mini), a Genius concluded that the logic board ($700) and/or processor ($500) was to blame. He suggested I consider selling the desktop on craigslist for parts and buy a new computer, and so I bought a 24-inch iMac (maybe a Mac Pro will come later!). I had two clone primary drives and a Time Capsule back-up. I set up the iMac, clicked to restore from the Time Capsule, and perhaps two hours later I was back in business. End of story. By the way, the three Genii I encountered all listened well, explained the situation clearly and offered options. Retrieving my busted computer and buying the new iMac was also a excellent experience. I was happy to support the company, and felt the staff did their very best.

If you think the iPhone is about hardware, forget about it! As Steve and his team consistently point out, Apple is about software. And no more is this better demonstrated than the iPhone, which is, ironically, a hardware device. But it’s a hardware device that needs software to run, and which offers a platform from which applications jump and dive off into the ethosphere. There are now 15,000 different apps available from the iTunes store, covering every conceivable info need. Actually, it goes even beyond information, since one app actually performs the tasks normally done by a carpenter’s level (how’d they do that?). Just like the iTune Music Store, these apps simply blow away the competition, who are still focusing on the devices themselves–clamshell, no clamshsell? Touch screen or keyboard? They falling behind thinking this way. And even if they did recognize that software is the key, they’re too far behind and not smart enough to create a decent competitor. Watch Apple’s latest TV commercials for the hammer that Apple is bringing down–it’s all about the iPhone apps. [Check out this interesting idea for a map application, with a mobile version "coming soon."]

Less than a week after Tim Cook’s warning that Apple would not stand by while other companies “rip off” Apple’s intellectual property, word arrives that one day earlier the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office issued a patent for touch gestures, including those used on the iPhone. The 358-page application and explanatory materials look pretty impressive, especially when you consider all the cellular handsets out there with great, big screens and graphics, and using finger gestures. If you read the patent closely, you’ll see that a provisional patent application was filed June 29, 2007–the very day that thousands of persons were standing in line to purchase the first iPhones. Subsequent filings no doubt fleshed out the details. You can download (pdf) the first two pages here to read the long list of assignees, with Steve at the top of the list.